Okay, I screwed this one up masterfully.
Two steps forward, twenty back.
The girl that thought of me the world,
Now hates me with every fiber of her being.
The call last night, she laughed at my jokes
Hope is a tricky thing, it lies…
I was so in pain when my mind believed itself more
Than her.
She’ll never know what I went through that night.
The night she was in comfort, messages unread,
my heart died a thousand deaths.
I earnt what I sowed.
But she had become one of my best friends
How could I could I do this to her?
The pain of rejection from her
and abandonment where overwhelming.
I should have been stronger.
I was weak.
And what I thought was a kindness
A final victory over my inner demons,
Made her scream at my name
That split our friendship apart.
Turned life into a precipice
And I am still caught falling…
Today was the first day in my life
That the thought of a plane accident
Brought peace.
I must have really given her
My all.
Too bad,
All she will see from now on
Is her anger attached to my form.
Every thought of our love
Will be forever attached with her disgust.
The only way to be looking out for her now
Is to be eternally quiet.
I lost
What could have been a live-long best friend.
Seeking forgiveness,
I don’t know where to turn.
Forgive me,
Forgive me that I destroyed,
What you gave me.
by Lennart