He will never
See the stars reflecting in your eyes
Circling the crescent of Mars
When he kisses your lips
Sinking a thousand miles under an ocean of your beauty
Away from this world, into the depth of your being.
He will never
Read a poem with the sense of a life
Lived to the height of curiosity
And the depth of sacrifice and risk
Glancing over the pages
At your shining aura
In the light of a candle
As perls of water roll off your soaked skin
He will never
Glance at you across the room,
Or watch you across a busy restaurant,
As if your distance of a mere feet
Reminds him of the other end of the universe
When in a moment of eyes locked into each other
He feels the birth of entire Galaxies
And in your passing
The death of a billion stars
He will never
Sit, struck by the lightning of a love for you,
In the middle of a busy street,
Pausing, all life on hold, the world come to a full stop,
Falling, sinking, longing, fading,
Into a memory of your presence,
A memory of your voice, your smile,
Holding on to it,
Like it’s the essence of existence itself
The mystery of his life
The crowning jewel of all his accomplishments,
The rarest of all diamonds
Unearthed in the maze of a life
A life lived to the fullest.
He will never
Touch your skin,
As if you were the only one,
That ever existed, that will ever exist,
That he could ever imagine to fulfill every part of him,
The only one he’d wake up in the middle of night,
Thinking of,
No matter who is next to him,
The only one,
In the middle of the greatest crowd, the loudest distraction.
Whose touch burns all his hopes and memories
Into one wave of everlasting agony of love when you are not around
And ecstasy when you are in his presence.
He will never
Enjoy the rhythm of a sound wave
Carrying your soul in his heart, at speed,
In the middle of a night blurred in streaming colors,
Not just as a simple and convenient placeholder,
As someone that could be swapped out easily,
Left behind and forgotten in an instant,
As a temporary object of desire -
But instead with eyes full of finality,
Of home, of peace, of everlasting fulfillment,
Of a connection beyond time and space,
Beyond words and speeches,
A link so deep and so invisibly strong,
No mortal can remove it,
No force of nature destroy it.
He will never
Lay at night, at ocean’s edge,
On a dark lonely night,
With waves pounding the shore,
Watching Mars,
Thinking of you,
Just thinking of you,
Only thinking of you,
Of your passion and soul,
The heart of which
To share
A fellow traveler alone
Can feel, can see, can touch,
Can be with - but no one else,
Only someone who took similar steps,
With similar eyes and a similar heart.
He will never
Hold you with his arms
Pressing hard
So hard, so tight,
An everlasting protecting shield,
Never to let go, never to abandon,
Never to ridicule,
Never to leave behind, never to leave alone,
At the expense of his life
To protect and to cherish,
Because you struck a chord in him,
That no other soul touched,
No soul, that traveled on our pathways,
The ones we shared, the ones no one else can see.
Which he feels like in a trance,
When he holds you thus tight,
And makes you feel,
That not just his body is yours,
Or his look, or his superficial charme,
But his entire being and soul and heart and mind.
He will never
Bend his arm around your neck
And pull you in to a gentle hug,
A passionate kiss that feels like it will never stop,
Or when tears broke your heart,
Tears you never shed before,
And touching his heart with your body,
You feel the universe in sync with both of you,
A feeling that only you two understood,
No one else could ever see,
No one else could ever even imagine to feel,
Because they don’t know that such a thing could exist.
He will never
Look after you longingly,
When, broken hearted, you walk with someone else
Week after week, month after month,
Not having anyone else on his mind,
Not able to forget you,
Waking up and going to bed just true to you,
And when you touch him with his heart
Only to pull away from him,
Still remember the good that you had,
Never wishing you ill,
Never thinking bad of you,
Always being on your side.
With nothing to hope for.
Except your happiness.
Even when life’s cruelty kills his heart.
He will never
Experience the revelation
Of having entered the realm
Of your favorite book, only to discover,
That your every thought and move,
Was his and every feeling and thought
Of his was the script of both your destiny.
A miracle of cosmic dimension,
Too insane to be coincidence
Too ridiculous to be understand,
Oh no,
He will never experience what you and I felt.
The joy of ancient books falling in our lap,
The joy of flowers arising to life out of seeds,
The joy of stars seen at night, their cosmic mystery felt,
The joy of speed and electronic music - our dance of souls.
The joy of poetry read at night, in candlelight,
The joy of love made around the clock, bodies merged in eternal tantric sex,
The joy of kisses to ancient Indian lyrics,
The joy of passion that connects us beyond any random human
The joy of exploring planets beyond the human grasp,
The joy of kissing in an ocean at a morning star and unknown future
The joy of building a bookshelf and what it means to us,
The joy of hunting old forlorn bookshops,
The joy of French and Sanskrit,
The joy of investigating rocket engines,
The joy of Martian lectures,
The joy of studies at night with bodies clung together,
The joy of Martial Arts and Asian culture,
The joy of classical art and elevating education,
In a million ways you and I were one, Dagny - like no one else will ever be.
Леннарт